Read about my pregnancy , childbirth – part 1 , childbirth – part 2 and the days after . Try as I might, I am not able to write about the confinement period. It is much too painful. I am still filled with hatred and disgust for some of the people in my life. Rather than have it all spill over onto my blog, I preferred to stay silent. After all this while, mentally and emotionally, I still haven't healed. I did think I would get over it, but I haven't. From the outside, it looks like I have moved on. Inside I am in pieces. And some relationships are no longer as they were before my baby arrived. Or rather I should say, I no longer have the illusions that I had, about certain people. Everything shines with a clarity which was hereto unknown to me. Or I should say, I refused to see. I do not want to dwell on the negatives any more. Hence moving on... Once back from the hospital I was left with my baby and myself. For 4 days I was the sole caregiver for my baby- nursing, cha